as i was laying there tired out from the day with all the activity, trying to pass on to sleep, i was possessed by the thought and the feeling again, suddenly, that how strange, and how can it be, that someone you love so daily, actively, wholly, can die, and will no longer be?  
i thought, i know how banal this thought is, how obvious it is, so banal, these thoughts, and why must i keep having them, and i think, now, oh my god, oh my dog, you're there in your  your breath, your body, on your side, your life passing even as you sleep, and we haven't much time, and i'm here, sleepless again with my heart full of tragic love, ordinary love, and i'm so glad, i hope, your thoughts don't keep you awake, i hope you sleep and don't think, that the future does not exist in your mind, blank and staring back at you, that you will wake up as ever tomorrow and greet me and the day, that tomorrow is today returning, as if it will always be the the same beginning, the same dream of time together continuing. now i've written down these banal thoughts i think that i can go to sleep.