it's so cold it's hard to operate. my crummy sexy new bike's handlebars stiffen in the cold so it's hard to steer. my fingers get angsty with frostbite incursions and my toes go popsicle in vibrams. meanwhile i'm pondering fear. it's very hard to control. the government does it by creating greater fear, greater evil, human environmental chaos. when fear comes out of the blue whether in the form of a drone attack or a dog bite, it's in you. the gov keeps pressing that spot, making fear, making arms, making soldiers, making war, making money, money, money. in the case of dogs though, when i am bit, i know it's not really out of the blue, it's a dog who has been so abused by humans it fears and attacks them. i know many many dogs and i am loving with all dogs, even after attacks. but generally i can't go back to the one who bites. the fear doesn't overwhelm, but i want to be loved by dogs and not hurt. that's the basics. mutual love. but shit, i don't know how i'd function under american occupation, under the constant fear of torture or targeted assassination or drone attack. i suppose life is effectively curtailed under american occupation, as in israel. i've lived in fear of america, but it's different when you are in america, and white, and an american, the fear is more generalized, more absract and at the same time gutteral, ha i mean visceral. in the gut. in the solar plexus. in the amygdal, in the frontal lobe that helps you carry on under the homeland occupation. i'm writing fast forgive the inarticulation if i wrote slower it wouldn't help. the american industrial fear culture capitalizes on fear, on every level, on fear and terrorism. but i have dogs to attend. why am i droning on about this bullshit.

three dog night. it was but i slept alone. happy new year.

angelus.

animal magic.

bella.

bella at the fire place.

bella by night.

bella mi

bella tree

bella window, before bella sees

bella and brother leo

bella soul eyes

charge mcmaster

dude in speedos and monofin. i was saying in the morning no way the dude will swim today. he did.

golden yawn. i'm hustlin like a lanky legged flower to maintain heat and he's like why the rush?

grin on ice

i cannot go this way, i'll go this way.

i must go and write my novel see you bye just kidding i don't write a novel and

i no longer ride in aeroplanes.

ice mute

o cuddly leo

leo by night

leo kiss bella

leo

lova

ma belle ami

ma belle ami one to

must.turn.back.

night ranger

out of asylum, in the now of ghosts and fur

phoshor ice

remembery shivery

rosetti, in passing

squirrel vigil and dance and fandom

parade's end, no ticker tape, cold sop, promise of new wealth, deep unthinking depression.

delicate paws on ice. i was surprised how well my foot gloves tracked.

warbabies

war mice

wolflight

you ever feel like you're in a sad movie?  things we lost in the fire.