i woke up at 2am and had to write about penny. i didn't know it was a month today since she's been gone. i still say goodnight lu, and good morning, lu. why are we still so sad? because penny lu is still gone. dr. sara wrote today too. she wrote: 

I am sure in some ways it seems like just yesterday that you lost your sweet Penny, and in other ways I am sure this has been an incredibly long month as well. 

and then all the other deaths happening in the world amid the horror of the genocidal empire. it all rises into a constellation of grief in the exhausted sky.