i know there's more to it and i hope i can find out more but i have the sneaking feeling
i'll never get it. i think i've learned something. some things. i think i've changed. 
but am i the same as i was as a kid?  
have i simply gotten old?  
i read some philosophy, but i forgot some philosophy too, 
i read some poetry, i'd like to think some stayed with me. there's almost nothing 
i could recite, but i feel it in the background, like ghosts or dreams. not wanting
to grow up probably stunted me.