i felt a little misbegotten. i felt chagrined but i made that up. i felt hurted as the kid says. i felt underneath like i was losing the dogs. when i saw johnny and the pointers on the courts i stayed in the playground watching like a periphery. it's ok whatever happens i mean i'll feel uncertain and somehow bad either way. but i also felt really good this morning. i felt the sweetest waking feeling. my back relaxed. i'm finally getting to theosophy. i think. i have to get angry. it's all so fucked up. they are taking the world and all of us down. i wanted to survive this collapse. i've collapsed so many times. i don't know if i'll survive cars, or collapse. there is finite time. in this body. i want go to another. i'll miss the dogs before the fact. i'll miss r. while she sleeps. 

the spirit periphery.