i always experience the same melancholy in the presence of dormant water, a very special melancholy whose color is that of a stagnant pond in a rain-soaked forest, a melancholy not oppressive but dreamy, slow, and calm.

blanchot.


(i was given as douglas, or dubhglas, dark river, or from the dark water, or dark stranger, or dweller by the dark stream. in the 17th & 18th c, douglas was given to girls.)

i have the same feeling when looking at still water, with deep brown leaf color, and eyes the color of brown tea. i have the feeling of drowning as simply as falling asleep, with open eyes drinking.

i was thinking last night about the mountain of images i've gathered these last few years, and the names put with them. thinking how seeing and naming are part of my learning, though i'm not sure what i've learned. perhaps i've learned to see.