i worry about a lot of things, so many things 
i get vague in my head and feel like i'm dreaming awake 
and keeping vigil over myself in traffic with mister.  
but mostly i worry about winter, 
and my wonder goes
to whether i will survive.
and that sounds like melodrama, and it is, but
like my brother said, this may be the last party,
and even if i make it to this one it may be a sad party
for the end times and what we might have missed.
 

but that sense of time and loss informs me,
it's time for mushroom love.