we worry about his skeleton. some days he prances like a doe. some he minces down the stairs. i try to keep him from jumping off the ramparts. i have been struggling with a mysterious malaise and thank god for the dogs. little sleep in days. tragic sense of life. precious sense of life. despair. wish to see stars, like a stifling need for breath. the cosmos. the chris bell song, every night i tell myself, i am the cosmos,  i am the wind, but that don't get you back again. whpk been very good but they need better equipment so please send them a few bucks, i sent sixty and they sent Music! reading leslie marmon silko, why did it take so long? i've read so much to get to the nectar, why couldnt i just go to the nectar like a human bee to flower? human, that's the rub. the bee gives and takes together. we just take, and give back tokens, promises,  hope,  trash, and poison. the earth is dying around us and we dont seem to get it- we are of the same stuff, we are dying too. so i give the dog a bath and i love him up as long as i can.