pleas just try to be kind and be sane. just do the best you can. take a pause. take a walk. breathe through your nose. breathe deep.

 hey duggles, are you ready for the fourth paramita? ready as i'll ever be, benny, thanks for aksing.

 benny says, or i loosely translate, don't be foolish, but be brave, give yourself permission today.

 remember the smothers brothers? i'm going back these days to see what i can retrieve. i have some memories that turned into stories that may not be real. i questioned reality from the beginning i believe, but what was real then or now i don't know. everything becomes a story but some things are heartbreakingly real. like losing memory. and bombs. the smothers brothers were on mainstream tv but they talked about love and peace.

 you may feel philosophical today and experience a deeper wisdom about your life. that's what my horoscope says. i may feel it. you may feel it too. i feel sad about mom, and i hope she feels safe and not afraid. i just hope she's ok. she taught me to love plants and animals, yet she's a mystery. i guess i am too. maybe all of us are mysteries. i understand the natural world but the human world is more than a mystery, it's not natural, it's insane. and yet who can say. maybe it just has to be this way. mom gave us a beginning in this insane world. we just have to continue living our lives, in solidarity, in love and gratitude.

 they're wiping palestine off the face of the earth. mom's hair has gone natural silver and long and she quit going to church. she replaced the memory of the car crash and meeting tony at the hospital with a strange memory i never heard of about taking a muddy drug addicted kid to the hospital. tony with a cry in his voice reads the newspaper and says he saved 31 people's lives. pictures and jesus and angels everywhere. bob says the crash was another time, another road, another hospital, so the memory i had is wrong, but i can't remember the other memory. memory is exceedingly strange. anyway i remember the crash and the meeting was fate.

 

can you dig where i'm coming from?