i already have a hard time remembering. or with cognition. r. says i just don't give my attention. my attention wanders. to marshland. attention is needed like prayer. i have a hard time. it's a hard time. reading notes from no man's land. families kept growing through the time of civil war and lynching. the family kept growing. for mysterious reasons everything matters. now memory is disappearing in marshland, in desert land, in eroding coastland. the family is dying.