i have a creepy feeling, like i'm dreaming but i'm not in control of my dreams, and i'm awake, or i keep thinking i'm waking. last night i dreamed about black mountain. am i supposed to read black mountain poems? are angels guiding me? am i silly, am i abzurd, as dad would say? but dad is dead, it would be abzurd if he said i'm silly now, unless he's an angel guide.