the first day of school, i was not yet five years old—i wanted to drop out, but i was not in charge of my little life, so i kept going, growing up with the desks, feeling like a captive drop out, naked from the waist down. sixteen years on i finally did drop out, as far as i was able in the forsaken country of the forsaken land. fifty-nine years on i sometimes dream of being reborn as a dog.