it is the strangest thing that has happened to my body, this fungus. i can see why people don't want to talk about it, unless it's in the past, or somebody else's body. it's too strange, too disturbing, gross and frightening. it's sci-fi, it's inside, there's no end. is there? it's heartbreaking. i keep thinking i'm getting well, and then it spreads, and the hope gets entangled in affliction. no catharsis, unless it's written. is this cathartic? i don't know what it is. it's a mystery. it's so alien, this lodger in my skin.