i was thinking that maybe 
i'm not haunted by ghosts 
but i am a ghost haunting my body.
i wonder why a baby 
would call up 
the ghost in me.

it's probably just idleness-
lonely daydreaming drifting
to melodrama, but the baby
that followed me, i mean,
that was born after me,
was a ghost baby.

i don't want to attach my ghost 
to this vibrant baby 
but two feet away 
is a memorial tree to another ghost baby,
so it's not just from inside. 

why, i need to refrain from giving this 
blog to mothers who probably don't want to read about ghost babies.
it's weird and creepy and so different
in a way
from our play
in the sunlit park. 

cause here i have to be
free to say the wrong thing, to make wrong
associations, to air
my ghost who lacks attention
in the community, that goes about invisibly wanting
to tap people and say, i'm a ghost, aren't you?

anyway what i've discovered i think
is babies aren't afraid of ghosts or dogs,
but of adults and their ghost stories.

this is so
important to me,
even if it is illogical.
i wouldn't have known
without the dogs leading me 
back to children and daydreams. 

 well everybody's got a mother, and everybody's got a ghost.