i may be neurotic, but it seems even if you're not an orphan if you're sensitive in a merica you are an orphan and if you don't grow a real thick skin of indifference you will be re-orphaned, and unless you find another orphan who cares and is willing to risk it you'll be orphaned alone.

maybe the strain of living, of surviving even, in america, the speed and fierce competition, creates indifference. caring slows you down. but at last it will be the only thing that enables us to live and survive.

talking of strokes, remembering different strokes for different folks, i found a book, My Stroke of Insight. it's a memoir by a brain doctor who had a stroke but the guy on the jacket says it's for every spiritual seeker and peace activist. and i was going to put it back in the free bin! i will when i finish.