i feel kinda nuts. it's been a nutty day. copp's mom's in hospital and i'm staying in the basement and my head feels like one of these weirdo protrusions below and i want to go home and decompress but copp's so happy i'm here and i want to get in the spirit with him and pretend i'm camping out underground on the orange cord couch.

we make a lot of plans, or we don't in my case, but we don't plan for the end, and in my case it wouldn't make a difference, i think. i won't have a net, and i won't last as long as copp's parents i can't imagine. makes me think, how will i manage, will i exit gracefully. but people who are so careful and by the book and with big nets to catch them are still caught off guard by the end.

i don't know what to say most of the time especially lately. i have no clarity or eloquence but i still have to say something somehow i wish i knew. i want to say abide with me or something i'm hanging in a mental netherworld sorry why would anyone abide with me in here even this this virtual netherworld, weird what a weirdo my compass is haywire i'm real gone. hey i can still walk the dog though.