mister woke up from ear hematoma surgery and wagged his tail so i am much relieved. i realize sometimes when i get angry about the government i'm anxious about something close to my heart and displace it onto some huge conspiratorial entity, which deserves it and is impermeable to my tiny arrows. i realized while emailing sarah i've been thinking about copper all day and feeling i should be with him and thinking about him like i would one of my human family but more because he doesn't know what's going on. but then when we are sick we don't know either, and suffer more for knowing we don't know. i just learned copper won't be coming home tonight, and i won't see him until later tomorrow, with his bedraggled ear, and his woebegone waterless look.