it's hard, it's odd, to slow down while everything speeds up in violent disintegration, yet the moment i do i feel better, i feel more aligned with the earth, even in climate chaos and war there is a more natural rhythm of life and it's the same rhythm we know in our skin and fur and in our swaying articulating bones.

there's a girl over by mister's house i've never spoken to who give her dog constant treats and doesn't look at me or mister like she's afraid even eye contact will set something bad off in her dog and i thought well she must have been told to do that by some manual or trainer while her dog gets used to focusing on her and not on her anxiety but that was a couple years ago and still she's doing it and the dog doesn't seem anxious but never gets to interact with other dogs or people and i want to know why is it the dog or the girl who's socially anxious and is she using the dog to distract herself from her own anxiety and as a social buffer? yesterday i saw her with the pointers playing ball by the kiddie lot and she started treating and hurrying by the outer path and the pointers didn't even take notice but i did and thought in this case she either can't tell that dogs off leash can be completely relaxed and one with their environment or she just didn't want her dog to see that dogs can be natural and free.

mister looks down at my footprint outside the snow tipi. mister looks up at me.

still my heart delights to see a dog running. thankful for simple things.

i'm still walking while my bike gets his spring tune-up. walking is hard as transportation when your skeleton is the vehicle. but it's mental too. i say to myself this is painfully slow, yet i'm not in pain. not physical. mister had a spring tune-up yesterday and today was moving painfully slow, to me, but perhaps he was just tired from his therapy, maybe his pain was less than his fatigue, but in general he may be slowed by physical pain. though it's mental for him also. when i hug him and sing, he often perks up directly and does a little jig, rolling his eyes in my direction.

You might feel indolent because you simply want to take it easy and do nothing today. Thas ok.

stay calm cool and collected. 
mister knows, even if he can't see or hear too well, he has poise and patience, he has wisdom and love. the boy continues to impress and warm my heart and to teach me how to do this thing.