we heard an awful crash at 7:37 a.m. on friday january 3, 2025. olive was hiding under the world globe table with her popcorn box beside her, looking stricken. on further investigation it was revealed that the said olive knocked over and killed the sacred snake plant she had been seen molesting for several days running. yesterday i noted that she would kill the sacred snake plant, and the inevitable end has been accomplished. yet, while posing next to her victim, olive has the audacity to state unequivocally, "i don't know what happened. that wasn't me."