when something shifts unaccountably i get lost and when i get lost i get confused and when i get confused i get scared like a kid i think but like a kid who was ill-prepared for the world though i know that's only a story and only one story and there are others. anyway we found a tennis ball only slightly knicked by the mower which suddenly has begun actually cutting the grass more like a lawn and we also found a whistler ball that whistles in the air. i often feel like i'm dream walking, not asleep, but dreaming this place and i realized today i think it's not more dangerous but less because i'm very aware and yet less tense than in the apprehensive crazy reality mode.