i guess i am a manchild. mostly i just want a hideaway from the world. i never trusted adults, they're the ones who fucked it up for us, with all their laws to protect property and wars of piracy. i s'pose it doesn't bode well for adult relations. or real estate. what excited me about the pioneer coop, it seemed a hideaway, a tree fort. it was a daydream. that's what i always did. in school i looked out the window, eyes vague, and escaped class, looked at the trees swaying outside and was up in them in an instant, swaying too. but you can't escape adulthood. i know. living off grid is no escape, it just prevents you from owning your own hideaway. 
i always felt i didn't belong here, and knew i had no choice in the matter. the feeling doesn't go away, in fact the longer i live it just becomes more true. i was born here. i exist here. i don't belong but i can't go away. lots of people feel that way, don't they? i always wished these people who were kind of like me i imagined, would make their own society. but innately i feared they wouldn't have me.