i was going to stay with penny lu when r. went to the wedding. it will be strange being here without her while r. is away. being alone will be different now. i had the reason to stay home for the cats and the purpose of caring for the cats. i think while r. is away i'll meditate on the deep love between penny and r. and what that meant and means to me. we saw a zoom about the soul's purpose today. i'll think about that, and the wish to stay home with the cats and the dogs while the others are away.