i met rocket and her ma in the park and i was whining about getting wet and celebrating the colored trees. she's a buddhist and reminds that nothing is happy or sad but both things in one and we get caught when we fix on one idea, or try to hold happiness in mind, or sadness at bay. i do it without thinking (sometimes), but perhaps i need to talk to her more. we say we'll meet for coffee. she says her daughter calls herself a jewbu, her dad's a jew and her mom's a bu. i say i'm that too, but really a mutt with a tiny potent dose of jew from rose fuchs, but leaning like a tree toward a more buddhist light. i do have to orient myselfagain. i'm so moribund. winter is calender wise still two months away, so we have a good six months of short dark cold days with punctuated sun. and i may never get wether proofed from the outside. i must adjust within. she says as we part, think about, until we see each other, what is wisdom. that is a good one. how can one answer. meanwhile i just burned buddha and the chocolate box by cat stevens. music, oh very young,sun/c79,ghost town,jesus,king of trees,a bad penny,home in the sky. some potential answers in song.

 happiness is eating an apple. sadness it is gone.

 three free black and white flowers

 rain  court

 cat stevens' last album before he emigrated was back to earth. it wasn't as good as buddha or teaser, but it was a sign of emigration. he has a new one now, but i think that tension of fame and youth and minstrelsy is past.

 gottfried keller, the green heinrich

 humming under the piano, rain on lens

 max sebald

 natural history

rain court copp 

rain crows

 court jester

 want dis one?!

healing tree of night

twin sent

it's coming! but not for a long time.

i am crimson, i am yellow.


(reading about sebald thinking about dad, seeing like father like son, it's like a quiet storm of notions. i don't have to figure it out, another thing rocket ma says. just be alive, just be open, everything easement. thanks be.)