don't stop talking about gaza, kids.

 

 penny had me up all night. now she sleeps all day. i wake her up. she won't eat. it's going to be another sleepless night.

 we're paying for obama's complex in our park just as we're paying for biden's genocide in palestine.

 word of the day, outlandish. i.e. obama is the outlandish renegade of hope and change.

 while genocide joe is fucking up palestine the audacious renegade of hope is fucking up hyde park. 

 i said to lulu let's go look for my lost lens cap, i'm not expecting to find it, but we will look carefully, and there it was, face up, olympus. for i've said it before, so many times now, for she's my lucky lulu. and all the children of the earth sing, free palestine! free us all! under the wintering wishing tree.

word of the day, audacious. he's an audacious renegade, alright.

 

 it's a grim time. the war criminals are destroying the world.

since the beginning of time all moments have led to this moment.

 

they can do anything they want. the whole of the land is their property.

 

 land grab and cat.

Earth Keeper

When we dance the earth trembles. When our steps fall on the earth we feel the shudder of life beneath us, and the earth feels the beating of our hearts, and we become one with the earth. We shall not sever ourselves from the earth. We must chant our being, and we must dance in time with the rhythms of the earth. We must keep the earth.

N. Scott Momaday

 the world court rules genocide and the u.s. of israel keeps on killing.

 do i like lord jim at home? i'm not sure. why do is hafta ask myself that? do i have to see it to the end to know? 

 i almost forgot the word of the day today. it's raveling, and i expect it will keep on raveling, though other pithy and succinct words may come and go.

 lulu finds fútbol, manages to get it into mouth, carefully carries it home. 

 we go back to the secret garden. in every season it's a secret place. it's more bare now, incipient, winter composting, dreaming of spring. 

 when i don't know what to say i'm apt to say something meaningless, or repeat some banality, when i should be silent and just look around me. there's a lot of blather in the air. sometimes i think about all the voices flying around from device to device, and the birds listening to the noises we make, wondering what in the world we could be going on about. i used to hide from people when i was lost for words—all the time. i couldn't relate to people. i still feel that way, but i'm not as mortified as i used to be. i feel like i do have something to say, even if i don't know how to say it. i always felt like something wasn't right with us, as humans, and i wondered why everyone was pretending the same thing. people must get so awful tired of pretending. i know, it's how we're brought up, i've pretended too. it's so unreal. it's exhausting. it's a fancy thought i have, that we're going to wake up soon and as a loose gathering of people say—enough pretending. 

sometimes i just don't know what to say.

 

 we found a harry barker ball and when i took the camera out to photograph this sad watermelon i lost the lens cap. it's embarrassing how bummed i can get over losing such a simple thing, while every day people are losing their homes and their families. it's heartbreaking that kids are dying, but i'm glad the kids at ray school are thinking of the genocide their parents are paying for.

geese flying over the horseman and the forsaken park. 
 

sun is the reason. 

 

 though the law of rule is genocide, you can still try to do right in the world gone wrong.

 the petrochemical industry is not only killing people in cancer alleys, it is, like the weapons industry, killing all of us. we all live in the sacrifice zone, earth.

 yesterday the sun appeared, today the sun is hidden again. they're gassing prisoners. julian assange is facing extradition to the forsaken country. the genocide continues. the oligarchs have zero moral legitimacy and they use deadly force to maintain power. evil stalks the forsaken land.

i hear ringing. the sky closes up again. i hear a train. it goes right through me. airplane hidden airplane. power plant hums. does my soul go to sleep?

 

even after the park has been taken and occupied by the oligarch, we still pray doggedly to save it. 

it's just another day, dug.

 

 it's actually sunny and warm today. i pumped up my tires and rode to the library. my chain was funky. i got an oversized remedios varo, science fictions, and lord jim at home. i was hoping remedios would stay put in my dog purse. i paid my dum phone. talked to my buds about the fall of the empire. i was too hungry. my chain got further bunged up, remedios and lord jim fell out, unhurt, and i walked my bike home. all in all a purty good day so far.

i may be wrong but i believe the empire may have gone too far this time. 

what does the u.s.a. stand for now? it stands for genocide.
  

 the caregiver that went to care for mom doesn't know what to do. and melanie has died. and this forsaken country is lost in genocide.

 i finished sátántangó. it's one where if you say you have to be in the right frame of mind you may never be. it's one where it feels good to reach the end and remember. the images bleed into you, like the sound of bells from a tower destroyed in the war.

 don't take me for a liberator. think of me as a tragic researcher in how much one can take.

 honestly i think i may hafta fast forward or bail outa sátantango. i'm 4:09 hours in and 3:07 to go. the accordion is starting to drive me cray-cray. i do like the cinematography but i'm remembering not finishing the book. it was making me cray-cray too. it seems to be about the unraveling of the world. i get that, but why's it gotta go on so long? it could have ended with that kid and the cat. it can't get much grimmer than that.

 one thing about genocide is it draws a lot of attention. i'm learning more about israel and the u.s. israel's population is about the size of new york city, or connecticut and it has nuclear weapons and a massive military funded by the u.s. israel would not exist without the u.s. but palestine would. everybody who cares to know is getting to know what israel is about now.

 they're all washed up, gnome sane. they'll never have the illusion of legitimacy again.

i think i feel that bump on penny lu's back has disappeared!

 

 hey kids, i'm actually seeing clouds, with blue space in between! and i just started re-reading cloud-hidden, whereabouts unknown, again, after 42 years.