i remember one of my analysts saying, maybe she's just nuts, and i smiled with bemusement and wonder, that she could so readily and succinctly put my x in a nutshell. i thought, that's why i'm paying her, so she can tell me what i can't tell myself. she's a professional, i thought. then i thought,

and her analyst was probably saying the same thing about me, ha. 
then, much, much later, actually, now, i thought, i think, people think they know better than other people, better than they do themselves, and is a failing.