Sunday, October 18, 2015

sunday calm and sunny but i knew by the time we reached harold park we would be threatened. there was a copp parked on the corner, we walked on, then in the park it was perhaps the same copp and she was harrassing dogs and people in the playground. we stayed away and again avoided the threat (and leash free). but then we were attacked by a sleeper on the limestone at pebble beach. she called me a schizophrenic nazi and said i and my dog were dead meat. so i rallied with bluster and shouted her down, well she was laying down already, but she half rose to kill me at one point. then i was kind of embarrassed for having a screaming match with a homeless schizophrenic, but in my animal brain she was no different than the cops or the motorists who want t fuck with me. but after i de-fibrillated i went by again and wished her a good day. she just waved her lighter at me a mumbled softly. i think there's an art to this display behavior thing that i haven't quite learned yet, and that i would have learned long ago from wolves or free dogs, but being of the hominid caste i learned only force and intimidation and control and violence. i stayed porous enough however surprisingly to learn quite late perhaps how to cooperate and to engage in non-violent display when threatened. sadly i think the smallest simplest freedoms will continue to disappear with species and clean water and what freedoms we have will be either private or hard won. i even hesitate to say i cherish the no mans land along the lake where they've dumped a century or so of assfault and concrete because it affords a little bit of exploration and an urban peace of desuetude and hardy flowers and songbirds.

william onyeabor singing in my headphones about atomic war in the psychedlic '70's in africa, my head dances.
blooming of lateness.

he has never thought of the atom bomb.

 i was holding my breath in the sky.

i got this book of funny fleshy flowers and only later realized the flowers were flesh, sculpted animal parts! creepy. but i think my sister will like it.

loss is everywhere and it didn't have to be, but we've stopped saying it didn't have to be because we haven't really known any other way unless we were of the lucky tribe living in nature.

now you mention it nobody talks about the atombic obomba anymore it's like state terror so ubiquitous as to be beneath notice. funny. but now they don't talk about it means just that we don't need to think about it, we are it, we are the thought and expression of the unthinkable bomb.

oh my lagoon

ruins built on ruins.

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