i want to become a spirit. i realize that's my only ambition, and all the vain bullshit of trying to get on with human society was just that. i really just wanted to be a spirit all along, though i didn't have spirit parents and that's why i get lost in this world of bodies. i'm also back to reading the yonomami book,  the sky is falling,  and wondering how they would access the spirits without the forest, the trees being the conduits. well surely it can be done in the city, though it's full of ghost bodies.

well mon frere we're not exackly free but we're lucky dogs, and there will always be the odd righteous bitch in the parks.

goddam camera is near dead i push the goddam button and it just beep like a fuckin pipsqueek or takes a picture later when it feels like it and the puet i got from laughing dog electronics is popping screws and the fuckin cd tray jams ah anyway i wanted this blog to be story and spirit and shit and it's so fuckin moribund isaw a heron right before my eyes against a lustrous upsweep of rain and cloud over water and my fuckin pentax preferred not. i am a bartleby i don't need a bartleby camera.

my puter was stuffed and i had to trash thousands of pictures and now i can continue. it got easier the more i deleted and i got into it and think i'll continue weeding as i go rather than try to save it all for no future. i feel lighter even though it's only lighter in ether and mentality.

i saw colors, a lowering seething sea at eye level.. comet jumped in the fountain scaring a 2.5 year old and the roly poly mamacita threatened me with the police this after i said ok and kept comet away. she reinforced and increased the child's fear, instead of calming her, made herself apoplectic, and struck fear in my heart too. she was so violent i didn't even think of trying to assuage the situation. hate engenders hate.

 ahh! aha! a ha ha ha!

selkie

parenthetical.

and next time if i bark that means i like you, ok?

copp and i surround the kid.

i live there, the del prado. is it cool up there? yeah, it's pretty cool, they let dogs be up in it.

ok den, you have a blessed day, ok?

gone are the days when apocryphal good men ruled.

i was gone to say i don't look as lonely with a dog but do i look lonelier.

i'm not one of us and i knew that even at mt. zion elementary.

this was the first time copp stayed on land when i swam way out and i thought at one point he was leaving but he stayed and greeted me with a handshake .

i though maybe he wanted me to stay by the girl, but she was always looking away.

i shudna give this ball to copp he popped it and scared him.

but like everything i guess it was fun while it lasted we say later on with a sigh wasn't it? 

it depends on what you call fun.

i never learned and i never knew how to talk to girls especially i know it's no great mystery and that makes it harder cuz it will always be a mystery to me.

blissfully yours. shyness makes shame makes more shy then it doesn't matter it's too late it was too late they go before they go nevertheless i am blissfully yours.

what do you say to a girl you have furtively ogled? what about that skryabin? what a scherzo! what divine repetition!

and when they don't even note a golden dog flying why would they make note of me?

 

anyway i'm old so soon the urge will pass.

and i can go under water to take my mind off her.

i took fen to z&h for olives and hummus and he didn't even get a tidbit.

but all the young black girls swooned over him and said he was the cutest and he had a little switch in his walk with his tongue hangin' out and a huge grin.

but this notion, that science can play farmer to the flesh, making there what living soil it pleases...try to rid my mind of it as i may, yet these chemical practitioners seem to me like vain sorcerers, trying to beat down the will of heaven.

i suppose, but do you think i might have some sweet potato duck treats, like now?

can i get it on account of i got no money?