you see something and look back a minute later and it's gone. 

 what's with the penguins.

 she says my toe shoes are hideous.

she said don't make me smile. why? i don't look good when i smile.

 bernie sanders campaigning against the oligarchy in the desperate hope of luring people back to the democrat party while voting for genocide. another sign of the end times.

she sang in heaven there is no beer. she said i wasn't a drinker. we reminded her. she said i was a drinker. 

 when you miss someone, when someone is missing, you don't stop missing them, gradually you fill up with the missing, until the end, when all the missing will be released into the cosmos again.

 one stock that's guaranteed to be still making a killing is the weapons of mass destruction industry.

do bees feel angst?

 

progress means force, theft, destruction and death. there's no going back from progress. or is there? is there a limit to progress? i think of a neighbor who showed up like a specter at the tent meeting in women's circle garden of lovers of the park, the day before it was destroyed by obama, saying you have to destroy to create. i'm reading killers of the flower moon about the progress of the white devil settlers conquering the land. i think of a fisherman's cottage in maine with a pinkerton man on the mantle pointing down at me with a gun. i couldn't turn the picture to face the wall, for that would be disrespect to the founding fathers of progress. i think of the same white devil settlers conquering palestine even now by genocide. there is no going back, but is there an end?

goodnight, olive.

 

 once more over the prison wall. can't keep him in. and as far as pixel or i can see, there's no reason to. 

 we pretend it's not happening, or it's not genocide, it's a war of civilizations, or there's nothing we can do—it's always been this way, we say that we should just focus on the music, the dogs and the spring flowers, think of the arc of justice and the sun of love, but we can't do this, we can't pretend anymore. 

 when we got there pixel was on lily's side, and the gate was closed and i couldn't find lily. turns out lily was on pixel's side laying on a bed on the radiator by the window saying nothing. so we moved the litter tub with the hand weights pixel must have jumped from. and i say lily's fine on pixel's side, but we have to leave them in their separate cells, though we wonder why.

The destruction of Neoliberal Globalism 

was the moment we were waiting for. 

It's here.

Jared Yates Sexton

Despite the passage of time and an agreement to forget
Still sitting on secrets and opening graves
Despite the passage of time

Plucked from the air, it's hard when you fall
Songs of the past, you're not singing anymore
You said it was easy, no questions at all
Songs of the past, you're not singing anymore

Mekons

You're Not Singing Anymore

On behalf of the future, I ask you leave the past alone
You are not welcome, we have no government
We did not invite you, you do not know us
Nor do you know our world, you have no right to rule us

Our identities have no bodies
Physical coercion will not achieve dominance

East of Eden only violence and greed
Supernatural financialisation

Some are 12 up, on the low 40
Between markets of fear
22 was hit off CFGI

It's a war economy...

Mekons

War Economy

god didn't choose the zionists to exterminate the palestinians and make their hell in paradise, the zionists chose themselves, by land theft and genocide.

 pixel escaped. the prison gate is like six feet and we put a cardboard moving box extension across the top with duck tape. the gate was buttressed with weights on top of a litter bucket. pixel leaped through the gap from the bucket. now we hafta go back down to see how we can stop pixeldini's next escape.

 i'll be ok i guess. i just feel depleted. the kid will be fine without me, but there's an absence in my heart. the absence of charlie. it's not just charlie, but that's the shape the absence makes.

 Lust for conquest and wealth — behind the enslavement of Africans and the Native American genocide — is sidelined to tell the story of the valiant struggle by European pioneers to build the greatest nation on earth.

Chris Hedges

 i had a friend, sarah, who died. we used to email and i would write something and move it over to the web with and image and dedicate it to sarah. i miss that. this morning i read susan's post and the same thing happened. maybe the ghost of sarah was floating by. i wrote a friend said my angst is hurting them. if we say what we feel do we have to feel bad on top of feeling sad? i remember growing up i learned to just stay in my head with whatever negative thoughts i had. i'm trying to lose that learning now, so as to learn about life. i became profoundly isolated and no one knew me. growing old i am grateful when people are real and share their real feelings. i'm sick of this culture that suppresses truth and normalizes genocide. we're losing everything, is the feeling, the best things in nature, which we may have already forgotten. and in our own nature we've become dislocated, lost in an alien society predicated on destruction, and we're not even expected or able to lament the loss. the known world is collapsing. it's only natural to be sad and have angst, and it's necessary to express it and not deny it, regardless of who may not like it.

 i keep wondering, how can people support genocide? we are trapped in a death cult.

 making parks for people is cultural evolution. privatizing parks for oligarchs is anti-democratic, it's cultural devolution, and bodes ill for nature and people in cities.

pixel broke out of prison and terrorized lily so we had to go down there and reinforce the prison gate. pixel is quite determined, so we'll pray for lily tonight.

 did you hear the kestrel? i ran to the fire escape and saw them up on top calling, maybe to a partner? oh, i hope they are coming back to stay.

 i'm afraid i'll run out of pictures of chuck. i'll miss talking to her. she's such a good listener.

i was painfully naive, even at sixty-five, i didn't imagine they could normalize genocide.

 what a bizarre time to be alive. probably people been saying that since time immemorial, but what the fuck.

 she's gone. i better learn how to face it. 

 miss you charlie. 

 be kind, speak truth. joe biden's a demented zionist goon.

 it's hard to imagine a child playing one day and then not existing the next day. it crushes you on the inside.

dr. mimi syed

kids under fire

israeli soldiers are shooting children in the head. they used to shoot people in the legs to cripple them for life. now they want them immediately dead. the zionists say the children brought this upon themselves, and deserve to die. i've never seen evil like this before, and it continues every day at the behest of our psychotic government. this what congress and people like cory booker stand for. this is what the united states stands for. this is israeli-american zionism. this is the most powerful country on earth mass murdering children. this is unaccountable war crime, this is state terrorism, and gaza is the graveyard of humanity. 

 the obamachronic waterpark.

 like john martyn, i don't want to know about evil, i only want to know about love, but in this world you have to study evil to know about love.

 there will be mass psychosis before the fall.

 we're just going to keep going til the end. some of us that go on in different directions even different lives are still connected and influencing each other in subtle and profound ways.

 sitting in robert's house i realized without thinking about it in the moment that some things are just too late to save. i took two rocks from a snake made of painted word rocks on the street by the dog yard, one saying be kind and one saying speak truth. i took them to the wood covered window under the train tracks with genocide joe's pasted and ripped wanted poster. i put them on the ledge below and noted how the shapes fit together as though made to fit a million years ago. let's see if they're there today. if not they were yesterday.

 this is our home.

 what's going to happen to us?

 i'm boring arnt i? no your not.

 what was it like, living as a subject under the american empire in it's declining years?