fotos to entice sarah to pebble beach or bring pebble beach into her living room.

feeling alternately grief and joy, gravity and light, and swirling them around together in mind. yesterday i said in therapy i felt illegitimate basically, then realized i was getting something across of how it is to be now, in my skin and the insidious and beautiful world. i had three showers, one drenching on bike, and two swims, the latter in rain wearing only my hair and raybans. rode home feeling light floating smiling exchanging smiles with other happy cyclist thinking oh i don't have my pack on that's why this lightness slightly weirdness, but it was that light that just washes you sometimes, comes over you like a soft effervescent wave, you feel it and only momentarily question, then you release the question in a wave. then last night i saw the potently genius tilda swinton  in  stephanie daley and the greater surprise of amber tamblyn, who is truly remarkable. then this morning some jackass on good neighbors said the bike paths are idiotic as well as the "zebra crossings for so-called pedestrians" and so on. we live in a world fraught with insentient beings who tend toward unconsciousness and active evil. and beauty and compassion and empathy and waves of light and irrepressible joy in freedom. and gratitude for dogs.