the film old joy is magical. the dog lucy i last saw in wendy and lucy, which was after old joy but seeing old joy after i felt like lucy was recovered from the yard where she was left before, to continue the journey with someone else. i recall, i'm sent back, to the time i left bigs up on vancouver island. which i have long regretted and which informed my tears at lucy's abandonment, and the prospect of charlie being re-homed. and at the same time i'm reading about a vast city of the dead in reading the waves and i think of bigs in the graveyard at the end of the street in carbondale illinois when i was so sad and the peace of the dead in the sunshine under the spongey earth bigs bounced upon in pure joy with the ghosts between the headstones and now he is a ghost from long ago but i can go back there with him now any time. and i know somehow it works itself out as we work it out and given time we can go back to go on as we are animal portals.