i worry about my mind faltering lately, although maybe this is nothing new. i had a mental lapse today. the world has gotten so complicated. it's hard to think in the world, even in my mind it's hard to think. the world is in my thoughts. i can't think too much about the world or i lose my mind. i really have to try to check my head and listen carefully and focus. at least i was focused with the dogs. the dogs give me a certain acuity i might otherwise lack. it's a really scary world.