whelp, it all started out pretty bleak this morning and i was in a panic rather but i feel beta now and i think it is beta. i pick up and drop off mister on the porch and wave though the glass door sort of wistful smiles and mini-melodrama, though this shit is real. we gonna have to live in it with it through it whatevs. it feels foolish but i feel i got some resistance both to the pandemic government and the pandemic. it's like the riptide they talk about, i know it's dangerous, but i know i'm a fine swimmer, not invulnerable, but good, and instinctive. then again who knows anything in this crazy fucked up paradigm, right?