sometimes it gets hard to move. ha. sometimes you feel like a frozen swamp. not to make light of it, but yes, to make it lighter. sometimes i'm terrified i can't move, i wake up but i'm still asleep, caught in a dream, i can't move. under the skin, get out. something you are drawn to, something done to you. you're in that place. you move inexorably. moving so deliberately, in a strange body, the atmosphere viscous, suspenseful, animal spirit stultified, not going anywhere. what's going on everyones not asking all at once. every shitty thing that happens they say shit happens mistakes get made the pendulum it swings both ways while the question remains what is this evil animus, this funereal progress destruction moving to.