i got the fancy enzyme powder k. suggested. he saw me and looked at my forehead and said you're doing better, right? and i shuffled, thinking, am i? then i said yes, i think i am, i used to hit the invisible wall each day and drop like a blankety-blank stone. but today i'm dropping that way still. and k. says since i had benefited by his counsel i should buy him a bottle, which i think is coercive. i am not sure at all what is helping and what not, nor what is causing this damnable itch. i put on lavender oil and tea tree oil and the itch persists. i may have some foreign species colonizing me. and i know i'm anxious about eviction. i feel the chaos of gentrification all around here, and the killing of trees and humans alike. it feels like all hell is going to break loose. so i kept reading the overstory late and felt like when i was a kid trying to stave off sleep during a party downstairs and falling asleep and falling off the bed and penetrating my forehead with a horn shape fossilized plant form. now i feel the headlong drunken obliviousness of that party, though it was long before my consciousness raised about such things, now in retrospect i feel like the adult world i merely sensed then is a disaster and the party a memorial party, the party of the extinction.