it feels a long time since i've been in water except inside my skin or dreaming.
remember the feeling of possible drowning by moment with the happiness of breathing
above water. 
of the dog swimming around me, wanting me for my buoyancy. 
me, a body of gravity and ambivalence, buoyant. 
i still have not convinced the dog 
i'm only just buoyant enough for me, though trust me, 
i'm sure, i'll save you.
maurice, long dead, is preparing me to swim again, with his words, in that cold spring, 
that element perhaps more affirming, more
ambivalent than me.

let me be a life buoy for you.