i don't feel bad. i know the world is bad and will be the worse but somehow i don't feel so bad. partly because my teeth are calm now though my head is congested. with enough habaneros and goodwill i make it through the rest of the winter, and it feels like the rest. something other than death and taxes and trump is growing. truthout said something from aeschylus about in despair there lies wisdom, maybe that's it. maybe the final trump is just the death knell of a phony democracy and the solstice bell of a sane awakening. we cannot hope in the system but in the quieter force of life itself perhaps.