i almost cut my beard today.

but i was dog tired.

i coulda met mary t, too.

but i told my sister its probly just as well,

for my loathing self is looming large today.

&mysistersaid, she would find that comment funny! stop loathin, start lovin!

n i said to my sister, i'm unworthy!it is funny tho.

&mysister sais, You are not! and yes it is! cuz u r noT! (texting u no).

so i told my sister, thanks for sain so.

yes there are times i see myself as though in a dirty mirror.

then betimes i say hey maybe self-loathing is like narcissism, maybe its a self-advertisement for shame, maybe it's your dirty-love.

then i thought, like in analysis, you go too far, and then your los,t in a mental forest and then i though but i'm not paying this time, but then i'm not discrete and i'm leaving a record.