olive woke me at 4am again. she was calm though, with a soft purr. i got up at 5:30, fed her and went back to sleep. i had a bad dream, i lost charlie in a kind of bazaar with a muddy field. i saw some guy pick her up, but when i got there he didn't have her. she had vanished. i had the dream twice before. i fear that the human circumstance will change and then she'll be gone. i never liked change and changes were always made. they say be the change but changes are made we can't unmake. i've had bad dreams about losing mister and lulu and other dogs, but i never lost one in real life unless it didn't work out with the human counterpart, or the dog died, which all dogs do. but the human circumstance is what worries me. it feels like the species has fallen by the wayside.