memories of the past are present like ghosts in my body. i remember that line from vertigo, i have died many times. there's an engine on the roof next door that sounds like a mechanical ghost, like all the droning engines i ever heard. i shut the windows but the sound comes through double glass, through my ears, the pores of my skin, my breathing starts to match the sound, laboring exhaling exhaust birds fly through. i can't shut the ghosts out, they're speaking with the ghosts within. i see the birds gliding through the glass over the roof and the exhaustive engines.