it's not so much about pleasure or even release. it is but, it's about feeling ok as you are in the world. being perceived, giving as receiving. it's primal. and i missed out on the primal safe contact with clarity and boundary as an infant somehow, though i don't wish to dwell on that, and i don't want to blame mom. it may be a projection! who knows where emotional notions come from, i know it's not just the way we say. anyway i wrote a note, it may as generate some secret engine of response, who knows, not magical thinking, maybe generously spooky entanglement. though occasionally entanglement is spooky in a non-useful way.