oh yeah so we got the crystals and r. had picked one and i picked another one but when we opened them i liked the one she picked and she gave it to me and she took the one i picked
and i think we both settled on the one we want or need and perhaps we were initially picking for each other. 
and i canceled the book memory with seminary as i wondered if i would ever see it and i ordered it from siglio press and now i feel like i'll actually get it. it seems like a seminal book for now, a time capsule from 1970. 
just every day feels harrowing. oh, i just thought of this word collage i made about a green harrow. i have to look for that at home, and fetch mount analogue from my case for r. the crystal she got that was initially picked by me has a green inclusion, like ancient algae or diatoms or something live and green frozen in crystalline time. mine has bubble-like inclusions and sand slurry, it looks rather like photos of ice along the lakefront i made like it was formed suddenly and over millennia. 
it's a good thing in dire circumstance to see time in the long sense, this is but a moment, a chaotic bubble in the long spectrum of time. trump though he's the plague of the moment, is in long terms just a wave of an infinitesimally small hand, a snort of toxic industrial death dust, waiting to be sneezed into the tissue of his own sad story, and forgotten.