i've always been anxious. i grew up in an anxious home, which may be why anxiety is my default mode. i keep going to that anxious home. i go there, but it's in me, i don't have to go anywhere. the unhomelike home. i go there to pacify, to quell, the familiar anxiety. but the anxiety quickly can become overwhelming, outsized, undomesticated, eruptive, bigger than the house. what is the relation between me and my anxiety, home and the world. the natural, complicating, response to crisis, is unfortunate anxiety.