we sat in the cold garden last night and then i watched many moodies and my eyes are a little seared and the rain this morning, i was meaning to bird and ended up walking and doing a quick loop with mister. the elevator got stuck and i took the freight. i feel funky but i think it's the norm now i just have to look for light where i find it. there is little light in  normal life now. there is a dearth of light. like we have to make our own. there must be sources. it's lightening outside now. i have to get a present that i have to ride to. this isn't what i was going to say. what a mess my mind is in. lucky i'm not home, i'd be a mess in a nest of mess. ok i think i'll set off on my bike and hope the deluge is past.