s. mentions her group talked practically about suicide saturday. 
we talked of suicide friday in the garden. my friend's ex husband was a suicide and i mentioned anthony bourdain. we had never talked of her ex. it's in the air though. though it is often in the abstract, it becomes increasingly physical. a presence to understand more than an absence to contemplate or secret away. suicide is a personal theme in my life, living in the studio of a suicide. suicide is on the rise everywhere. like murder we tend to gasp and then it goes into the file. in between it's not a thought. it sinks under the discourse. it's not a thought, yet it's a theme. again it feels like these deaths are individuals conducting life, from beyond as it were, yet the beyond is here, in a practical way, an absence repeated individually that makes a compelling strange continuity. maybe that's what i think at this time, that suicide is somehow not incomprehensible, and rather, amazingly, given the granular circumstance, a practical thing.