sad sad sad. i just feel sad. i already feel bad that i feel sad, and i'm sorry if that makes you mad, it's just the way it is and i should go away. i just feel sad. 

it's not true that my sadness makes you mad, but unfortunately i feel like there's no place for my sadness in the world. that tiny island was a place once. now there's no natural place for me here. except the lake. but it's 38 degrees. maybe when i can swim again i will be able to let my sadness go with the water. even though, i recall, as soon as i emerged and started walking back along the highway, i felt the sad world return. it was never far away, even when the little island was left to grow.