r. was looking back in this record four years, and thankful i am, laughing. and showing me some, and i thought, i may have been wretched then, but part of me was laughing too, and that's the part the diary remembers, or the layer that rests on top. gratitude. for one time i wanted to die a long time. 

we live in a toxic culture, not just environmentally but spritually as well. if one's work is to succeed as part of a process of cultural healing, there must be a willingness to abandon old programming- to let go of negative ideas and beliefs that are destructive to the planet and to life on earth.

suzi gablik,
the re-enchantment of art.

this perfect world got a long way to go.