when i look at the pictures it appears to be a lovely walk. i feel a certain connection, but there's a disconnect. being together is good, but she won't walk with me. the second day she just collapsed and would not be moved. i carried her a ways and thought maybe that would get her started. but she collapsed when i put her down. i'm defeated by her will after bullying her and failing. so i am a failed bully, the thing i hate in others, with a sore shoulder. there is a teaching in this but right now i feel too obtuse and shamed to get it. talking this morning i thought about her beginning as a show dog rejected for not being up to snuff, and now she is a care-giver, and she's good at that, but maybe still feels rejected, and rejects in turn. maybe she refuses to perform because she was rejected. maybe i have a similar feeling, and maybe therein lies the struggle. and i'm sorry, chiara. love, doug.