i took this minutes before cutting the tip of my finger off indicating perhaps some vestige of my mental state and the power going out. which caused a cascade of memories of damage self and others and causes and effects and chance both lucky and un.

but i didn't think how prevalent shyness is and how culturally conditioned. how the system produces shy, crippling individuals who may be the most sensitive and loving. i thought it was just me. i thought i was a freak for wanting to hide and remain hidden. i see we are a nation of freaks all dealing with power and control our way.